Between Women
by Misa5
Summary: Integra needs to take a break so she heads to a club, where she meets Kagome and Sango. Kagome gives Integra a gift in order to tame a certain Vampire...please review! Sequel is up! ONE SHOT & CROSSOVER
1. Between Women

**Between Women**

What happens when Integra meets Kagome and gets a nifty little present for keeping certain unruly servants under control? Read and find out!

Disclaimer: I don't own Hellsing or Inuyasha and you all know it, so don't try and sue me. All you'll get are my Pokemon coins. And you won't even get those. So there.

* * *

"I will not tell you again, Alucard…"

"I'm sure you will, Master. Come on, it's a nice night and you need to get away from your desk."

"I am far too busy and you know it, so quit irritating me and leave!"

"A few minutes and I'll be happy."

"I said _no_ Alucard, and if you keep pressing it-"

"Just a short time. A pleasant walk around the grounds. Five minutes."

"NO! Now leave!" a very irked Integra shouted at her Vampire servant. The pompous bastard was leaning against her desk, smirking at her, mischief playing in his crimson eyes as he tried to convince his Master to accompany him on a walk. "I will NOT tell you again!"

"Didn't you just say that?" Alucard asked, smirking wider as Integra growled and glared at him with ice-blue eyes. That glare would make any normal person die from intimidation, but Alucard was far from normal, even by Vampire standards. Instead he stood, grinning. "Like I said, just a pleasant walk around the grounds for a few minutes. Who knows, you might enjoy yourself?" He laughed and moved to a wall as Integra reached for the heavy ashtray on her desk, her left eye twitching madly.

"I SAID NO!" she bellowed and heaved the ashtray at him. Alucard phased through the wall, which the ashtray bounced off with a loud crack. His laughter echoed around the room as Integra growled.

"You missed, Master." Integra glared at the wall he had disappeared into, her eye still twitching a bit. Finally she took a cigar from her desk, lit it, and stuck it into her mouth. She stood as little puffs of smoke rose from the cigar's lit end and went to the window. She couldn't work now, that damned Vampire had made her too irritated. For a moment she considered calling him back so she could shoot him a few times and work off some frustration (it was different shooting at paper targets that couldn't feel pain from holy bullets), but decided against it. That would only encourage him to annoy her more, and that was the last thing she wanted or needed. Finally, she settled on a strange idea.

There was a small club not far from the Hellsing Mansion, maybe about ten minutes away when walking. Integra had been there only a few times, when she needed to relax in the past. Now, she decided it was time to visit that place again. They played good music, had good food and decent drinks for decent prices, and there was always a sense of carelessness in the air. With a nod Integra turned from the window and went to her desk. She opened it and pulled out a holster with her favorite gun sheathed inside, strapped the holster around her waist, and pulled two extra clips from the desk as well. These she slipped inside a pocket, as you never knew who or what you would run into at night these days, before going to a small closet that was partly hidden behind a large metal drawer. She opened the door and pulled from it a light, dark-brown overcoat. It was close to Fall and the nights were getting a little nippy now. She pulled the overcoat on and went to the phone on her desk. Quickly she dialed Walter's phone and when he answered she told him she was going to go out for a few hours. When asked if she would like a car or some escorts, Integra said no and hung up.

With that taken care of, she headed out.

* * *

"What a great vacation!" Kagome said as she slid into a seat, looking around as she settled in. "Great Britain is such a nice country."

"It's certainly got a pleasant air," said Sango. The two women were taking a break from the men, and all of them were taking a break from hunting for Naraku. It had been months now and they still hadn't found a trace of him. "And the best thing is no demons!" The group had yet to have their first Freak encounter. Kagome nodded.

"It's nice to take a break once in a while. I'm surprised Inuyasha agreed to it."

"I guess even he needs time to work off the stress. We've been looking for Naraku all this time and haven't found hide nor hair of him."

"Yeah, it is annoying and upsetting," Kagome was saying, until her eyes trailed to the door of the small club and she saw a young, strong-looking woman walk in. She blinked, startled.

"I wonder who she is?" Sango asked, as she too had noticed the platinum-haired, ice-eyed woman who was now making her way to a table close to theirs. Kagome shook her head.

"I dunno…but she looks…scary," Kagome said. Kirara, the little demon feline who followed Sango everywhere, gave a little mewl and jumped onto the table, her twin tails twitching as she cocked her head at the other woman, who was sitting just ahead of them.

"Indeed…" Sango muttered.

* * *

Integra entered the club and instantly noticed she was being watched. Discreetly she shot a glance out of the corner of her eyes at two other young women sitting at a table. Something told her these were people she could get along with, told her they would understand her problems. But she didn't want to just go over and intrude. After all, she was a Hellsing. She had certain priorities to uphold.

Instead she went to a table right in front of theirs and sat down. Her sharp ears picked up on the bit about her being scary and she almost laughed. She managed to keep herself under control though as she heard an odd mewl come from the table behind her. Acting as one who mingled with her own race on a usual basis instead of only when she needed to get rid of excess tension, Integra turned and blinked.

She hadn't been expecting Kirara. The demon feline looked at her and mewed again, then started to clean a tiny paw. Integra smiled at the little thing. It was absolutely adorable, the kind of thing Alucard would tease her for…damn, there she was thinking about him again when she was trying to relax.

"Her name is Kirara," said the woman with long black hair done into a braid, who had noticed Integra watching the feline. Sitting on the floor beside her was what appeared to be a giant boomerang. Integra lifted an eye at it, but didn't linger too long upon it. Instead she looked at Sango and nodded.

"If you'll forgive my ignorance, may I ask what sort of beast that is?" Sango smiled.

"Kirara is a demon feline," she said, blissfully unawares that most people in Kagome's time didn't believe in demons. Kagome gave a little groan, expecting Integra to laugh and make some snide comment about Sango's sanity. So she was, needless to say, shocked, when Integra smiled more and said:

"You deal with demons then? I would prefer those to bloody Vampires…"

* * *

"Vampires?" Kagome squeaked. The young woman sitting across from them nodded solemnly.

"Freaks, ghouls, the like," she said, narrowing her eyes. "They're everywhere nowadays."

"Really?" Sango asked. She was also unawares that most people in this time didn't believe in Vampires either. "Well yes, we fight and slay demons. But I don't think we've ever dealt with a Vampire, have we Kagome?"

"Not that I know of," the youngest woman said with a nervous chuckle. Integra nodded.

"Lucky for you, then. It's not a fun job. My duty as a Hellsing is to destroy the Freaks and anything related to them that may threaten us mortal beings."

"Hellsing?" asked Kagome, head cocking. "You mean as in _the_ Hellsings?"

"Indeed," Integra said with a smile. She always got a kick out of whenever someone learned of her heritage.

And that's what started it…

* * *

"…he thinks he can get away with everything just because he's a bloody Vampire!" Integra was ranting. Kagome was nodding and Sango was looking sympathetic.

"I thought we had a hard time with Inuyasha and Miroku," she said. Integra sighed and took a sip of her third coffee within ten minutes. Coffee was normally something she didn't drink a lot of, because, being English, tea was more her thing. But she was feeling in a strange mood. It was refreshing to be able to complain about Alucard and her life in general to people who could relate.

"One day I'm going to end up killing him, again," she said, glaring at the door. Kagome gave a laugh.

"You won't have to go that far," she said. Integra looked at the young woman with a raised eyebrow.

"And what makes you say that?" she asked as Kagome reached into her backpack, which she never seemed to go anywhere without.

"Because," Kagome said as she sat back up. In one hand she was holding a very intricate-looking necklace made of pink crystal shards and small crystal orbs. "This little thing will solve the problem for you."

"Where did you get that extra rosary necklace?" Sango asked as Kagome handed it to Integra to inspect.

"Kaede gave me an extra one just in case something happened to the one Inuyasha has," Kagome answered. "But I think Integra needs it more."

"And how will this help me?" Integra asked as she looked back at Kagome.

"You're going to love this," Kagome said with an evil grin as she told Integra what to do.

* * *

It was about two hours later when Integra returned, armed with her new weapon in ensuring peace in having to live with Alucard once and for all. She made sure to let Walter know she was back before heading to her office. She removed her overcoat and placed it in the closet, took her gun and clips and replaced them into her desk, and finally sat down. She put the necklace on the desk and smiled a little. Then she adopted her expressionless avatar and called for Alucard.

"Yes, Master?" he said as he stepped from the shadows. Integra watched him, and then motioned to the rosary on the desk.

"A present," she said simply, making sure to keep her thoughts subtly guarded. She didn't want Alucard reading her mind and finding out what the real purpose of the necklace was for or otherwise getting suspicious. Alucard looked at her, then down at the rosary, back to Integra, and then chuckled.

"How sweet," he said, moving to the desk and picking up the necklace. "But it isn't my color."

"You can wear it under your shirt," Integra said. She needed Alucard to put the necklace on of his own will. If she ordered him to do it, he would know something was up. Alucard looked at her, still holding the necklace.

"How could I refuse any show of affection from my Master?" he said with a little grin. Integra, with quite a bit of effort, resisted the urge to strangle him and instead shrugged. Alucard stepped back.

"Thank you," he said, still smirking. And without another word, he stepped into the wall and vanished. Integra sighed, then smirked herself.

Things were going to be so much more peaceful from this night on…

* * *

Alucard stared at the rosary. He knew something was up with it. It was probably cursed or something. He had tried to gleam some info from Integra's mind, but had been met with the innocent thoughts of someone giving a gift to someone else. He hadn't even been able to find out where Integra had gotten it.

For a long while he stared at it. There was no malicious energy coming from it and it clearly wasn't blessed or holy in any way, because he could hold it without any injury. So _why_ had Integra given it to him?

Finally he came upon a decision that couldn't have been farther from the truth. Perhaps Integra was finally coming around to him? This made him smirk. It was about time.

And without another thought, he slipped the rosary around his head and tucked it under his shirt.

* * *

It had been two days since Integra had given Alucard the rosary and he hadn't acted up once. Integra knew he was planning something, though, and for the first time in her life, she couldn't wait.

It was time for yet another annual meeting at the Hellsing Mansion. Attending it were Hellsing operatives and troops, sponsors, affiliates, allies, etc. Integra was giving her usual "Hellsing's great goal in keeping the Crown and Great Britain safe" speech when she noticed someone step from the shadows in the very back of the room.

The only reason Alucard would attend one of what he called "ridiculous human rituals" would be to cause trouble of some kind. A tic started in her left eye, but it quickly subsided when she remembered he had put on the rosary, and gave a wolfish grin. She almost felt sorry for him. Almost being the key word.

"…And so on behalf of the Queen, I thank all of you for your dedicated work and continued support in helping keep citizens safe. May God and her Majesty be with you all. Amen."

"Amen," everyone chorused back at her, and began to file out of the room. It was at this time Integra noticed Alucard had left. But she knew him and knew he was up to something. He had shown up and let Integra know he was there. There was no way he was going to let this whole thing go off without a hitch.

At that moment the Vampire began to materialize from the ceiling, until he was hanging by his knees. He smirked as the startled humans yelped at his sudden arrival and tried to hurry out of the room. He then looked over to Integra, and knew he was in trouble because the young Head of the Hellsing Mansion was _smiling_ at him, in a decidedly evil manner.

"Oh Alucard," she said sweetly, and everyone in the room instantly stopped to look at her and the now-worried Vampire hanging from the ceiling. They all knew the Hellsing well enough to know she was never sweet unless she was planning revenge of some kind.

"Yes Master?"

"I just wanted to tell you something…"

"And what would that be?"

There was silence for a moment as Integra bared her teeth in a grin that made Alucard shiver. Then…"SIT BOY!" For a moment nothing happened, and Alucard decided that his Master had finally cracked. But then the necklace of rosary beads around his neck flared with a bright glow and the next second he slammed into the floor with a loud thud.

There was a stunned silence as Alucard lie there, face-planted, trying to figure out what had happened. Then Integra looked back to the others, still smiling.

"Good eve to you all," she said as Alucard staggered to his feet, looking slightly cross-eyed. A few people chuckled at this as the thong began to file out, until finally Integra and Alucard were the last ones to leave. Integra stepped from the podium and walked over to Alucard, still smiling. The stunned Vampire looked down at her as she stopped before him. Then, without any warning, she reached up and patted him on the head.

"Good boy," she said and, laughing, walked out of the room, leaving a particularly dazed, confused, and still cross-eyed Alucard in her wake.

If I ever see that Kagome again, she thought happily, I'll need to remember to thank her.

* * *

Well, how'd ya like it? Remember to review! If I get enough reviews I might do a sequel, I don't know yet. Let me know!


	2. Evil Beads of Rosary

**Evil Beads of Rosary**

It's been a few days since Alucard made the fatal mistake of putting on the rosary necklace Integra gave him. Now the Vampire meets with Inuyasha and the two have a hearty whine-fest about the unfairness of having to sit all the time. Sequel to Between Women.

Disclaimer: Read it in the first story.

* * *

Alucard had just finished up his last mission of the night. He put his Jackal into its sheathe as he walked back to where Integra and the others were waiting for him.

"Target has been silenced," he said. Integra nodded once and turned away, heading for a black limo that would take her back to the manor. Alucard followed behind her and smirked as she got into the car. "Why don't you come with me instead?"

"Sit," Integra said, causing Alucard to faceplant as she shut the door. She rolled the window down as Alucard got to his feet, scowling. "I'll see you at the Mansion." She then rolled the window back up and a moment later the limo and others vehicles drove off, leaving Alucard standing alone. The Vampire sighed and wrapped a hand around the rosary necklace. He tugged a few times but just as before, the thing wouldn't budge or break.

Alucard still remembered the first time Integra had told him to sit, when he had been trying to have some innocent fun at the meeting. After Integra had left, he had done some serious thought about the cause of his sudden "obedience." It hadn't taken too much thought to come to the conclusion that it was the necklace. He had then gone to Integra to confront her about it.

* * *

Four days earlier…

"This thing, it's got a spell on it, doesn't it?" Alucard asked, watching Integra as she sat behind her desk, still grinning.

"Indeed it does. Now I can finally have some peace with you around," she answered, chuckling. Alucard scowled.

"You should have told me."

"You wouldn't have put it on then. You would have claimed you "lost" or "misplaced" it. I had to be creative."

"Where did you get it from?"

"A young woman who has problems similar to mine gave it to me. I really must remember to thank her if I see her again. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a few papers to fill out before I turn in for the night."

"Can you get this thing off me?"

"I could, but I think it looks good on you."

"Can you take this thing off me, _please?_" Integra looked at Alucard, who was looking pained. She had never before heard Alucard say please. It was strange. She adopted a thoughtful expression and couldn't help but grin more when she saw Alucard's hopeful look. Finally she took a breath.

"No."

"Why!"

"Because I rather like being able to have peace once in a while," Integra answered, returning to her papers. Alucard continued to bug her about it though, until finally she looked up and said a single world.

"Sit."

This time Alucard was ready. He tried to resist the force pulling him down, but he only held out for about two or three seconds before he fell face-first. He grunted as he stood, blinking.

"I'll remember this," he said, and Integra smiled at him as he stalked to the wall.

"Make sure you do," she said as Alucard vanished from the room.

* * *

Alucard winced as he remembered that. Twice in one night. And again tonight. Not to mention five times last night for something he couldn't remember, most likely, he decided, because he'd gotten a concussion from the second sit. He sighed and dropped his gloved hand to his side, starting off.

He was heading back to the mansion when he decided he'd rather look for something fun to do. He was walking, headed right for the same club Integra had met Kagome and Sango in (though he didn't know that), when he noticed a figure clad in a red kimono standing a few yards ahead of him. He gave that sinister grin and headed towards the person.

"What a perfect night…"

* * *

"This is just perfect," Inuyasha growled as he stared into space. "The others all run off and don't tell me they're going, and I can't find a decent scent to track!" His ears twitched in irritation as he crossed his arms over his chest, one eye twitching much like Integra's. "When I find them I swear I'm gonna…"

Just then, the wind changed direction and blew a very strange scent into the dog demon's nose. He whirled and saw a tall, red-clad figure coming at him. Orange-tinted glasses glinted in the moonlight as the man came closer. Inuyasha growled.

"A demon? No, his scent is way too different. Then what?" he muttered to himself, and was surprised when the man stopped and laughed.

"No, I am not a demon. I am a Vampire, the great Alucard!" But Inuyasha wasn't listening. He had noticed this man named Alucard was wearing something that looked suspiciously like a…

* * *

"Rosary necklace!" the dog-eared inu shouted. Alucard scowled a little and noticed at that moment this strangely-clad man had the same thing around his neck. He smiled a little.

"Ah, you must be a friend of that girl that gave my Master this necklace," he said. His grin grew a bit wider. "I wonder if maybe you could tell me where she is? My Master wanted to thank her…"

Now, if Inuyasha had been paying any attention to Alucard's voice, he'd have noticed that Alucard was being thoroughly sarcastic. Yeah, Integra DID want to thank Kagome, but Alucard just wanted to shove these beads down her throat and shoot her a few times.

"No, they all ran off on me," the half-demon huffed, crossing his arms again. "I dunno where they went. I can't find a scent to follow. Kagome sit-ed me so many times I couldn't keep track of where they were going." His eyes burned with great irritation. "I swear, those guys are gonna pay…"

"I got it five times last night," Alucard commented suddenly. "I don't even remember why."

"Sounds like your…Master?...is like Kagome. Sit Inuyasha! Sit boy! Don't do that, sit! Sit sit sit!" he said in a girly voice, imitating Kagome. Alucard laughed and nodded.

"Indeed. Sit seems to be my Master's favorite word now. Sit for this, sit for that, sit for just being in the same room with me, sit for just BEING in the first place…"

"Sit for looking at me…"

"Sit for talking to me…"

"Sit for breathing in my direction…"

"Sit for thinking about me…"

"Sit for thinking period…"

"Sit for hitting the little annoying kistune…"

"Sit for shooting humans…"

"Sit for sitting…"

"Sit for standing…"

This went on for some time, with each suggestion becoming more and more disturbing. It finally ended with Alucard stating, "Sit for turning a human into a Vampire because you had to shoot her to kill the Vampire worm behind her using her as a shield." Inuyasha nodded a few times.

"Yup. I never knew there was someone else who got sit-ed for leaving the seat up. I tried to tell Kagome that she wouldn't like it if I made her hit the ground for everything she did but she just-"

"Made you sit?"

"How'd ya guess?"

"Lucky. I asked Master to take this thing off me and-"

"Had to sit?"

"Exactly."

"We should do something about this! We have rights too you know! Rights!"

"Yes! We have a right to cause total chaos and kill innocent humans and cause fear and terror amongst them!"

"Precisely!" Inuyasha cried as he and Alucard threw an arm around one another's shoulders.

"Rights!" they chanted together. "Right rights rights!"

* * *

It was three hours later when Integra decided it was time to look for Alucard. She was going to make him sit as many times as she could yell it until falling asleep if he had caused any trouble…

* * *

"Where's Inuyasha?" Miroku asked. They had _just_ noticed the half-demon wasn't with them. Yeah…They were also at the club where Kagome and Sango had met Integra.

"I don't know. Maybe he's back near that grove?" Shippo asked, hopping onto Kagome's shoulder. The small group stood and left, heading back to where they had left Inuyasha.

* * *

Well, needless to say, when Integra, Kagome, and the others found Alucard and Inuyasha, it was at the same time. Integra thanked Kagome for the rosary and was introduced to the others. Then they turned their attention to the half-demon and Vampire, who were holding onto each other, drunkenly chanting "Rights!" as they staggered along. Alucard had an empty blood packet, and was still trying to suck on it. Inuyasha had a cup with sake in it and was sloshing the last remaining dregs on himself.

"Oh dear…" Sango muttered when the two turned to face them and staggered over. Alucard pulled from Inuyahsa and stood before Integra while Inuyasha went to Kagome.

"We wanna tell yo' so'thin'!" Alucard said, blinking. Inuyasha nodded.

"See, cuz we…we are TIRED of…sit'ng all da time…"

"An' we thin' it ain't fair…cuz YOU don' hav' ta sit all da time…"

"And we thin' ya shoul' if we hav' ta…"

"So…so either ta'e dese thin's off us or…or..or….." Alucard stopped, scowling. "Or…"

"Or get som' for yaselves!" Inuyasha shouted, striking a peace pose. Alucard followed suit, and both of them started to giggle madly. Integra had an expression on her face like she had just heard she was a love child of Anderson and Maxwell's.

"I think…they've snapped…" Kagome said with a nervous chuckle as the two began to sing, horribly off-key no less. Miroku sighed.

"They need to sober up," he said. "What can we do?"

"I have an idea," Integra said, watching Alucard with a sort of horrified fascination as the Vampire belted out at the top of his lungs. She looked to Kagome and the two women nodded.

"Alucard…"

"Inuyasha…"

"SIT BOYS!"

There were two loud THUDs a moment later as the tipsy duo hit the ground.

"See…dat's what…" Inuyasha started.

"We tal'ing 'bout…" Alucard finished.

And then they abruptly passed out.

* * *

"…And that is why it is bad to try and revolt against your Master and/or keeper. Is that clear?" Integra asked. It was the next night and Alucard and Inuyasha had both been sobered by being dunked in alternately hot and cold water. Now they were sitting in those desks students in high school sit in and were being lectured by Kagome and Integra for their behavior the night before.

"Any questions?" Kagome asked. Alucard lifted a hand. "Yes?"

"Can we do that again? It was pretty fun."

"Yeah, just don't sit us or dunk us this time and we'll be fine!"

"SIT BOYS!"

THUD.

* * *

Well, here is the sequel. I decided to write it just to make y'all happy. In case you're wondering why the sequel is here instead of being a separate story, it was because I thought it would be easier for people to read both stories if they were together instead of having to search all over for one or the other.


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